I am going to tell you about my attempt to change ISP during summer, which really lookalike a trip to wonderland. I should write to Tim Burton, I think he can do something great. With a slice of Kafka.

Alice in Wonderland

Yes, THIS Wonderland !

The beginning is just that I want to change ISP, so I study the various possibilities around, and connections’ characteristics, and finally chose Telenor, which has some of the best offers on the market, with 300 DKK/50 Mbits in download.
It provides also fixed ip (I need fixed ip to run this website) and native ipv6 (if you don’t know what ipv6 is… well, you sadly belong to the unaware majority).

Bingo.

Friday the 19th of June - day 0

I am going to a Telenor shop (I could have done it online, but…) and tell the guy I wish to switch my internet connection on them. The seller says I have to discuss with my current ISP (DanskNet). He says also that the connection should normally be active the 29th of June, a little after 17:00.

I write to DanskNet and mention my wish to switch ISP. You have my mail here :

Fra: Stéphane Guedon [mailto:steftrap@22decembre.eu] Sendt: 19. juni 2015 17:06 Til: Kundeservice - DanskNet A/S Emne: ending subscription

Hej

Sadly for you, I decided to change for Telenor.

I have just been today in Telenor shop and they said me I should tell you about it. Then, you and Telenor should work together for the transition to be smooth and I won’t face a big internet black out.

Hope it will be fine.

Thank you for a good service.

Monday the 22th of June - day 3

I receive a mail :

Hi Stéphane

Thank you for your information regarding Telenor.

Did you make a new subscription with Telenor? Did you inform them your client number 10090468 with DanskNet?

If you can confirm these to questions then it is correct that your transition will be smooth.

If not please contact us on 46908888 and we will help you.

Med venlig hilsen DanskNet

Julie Holm Kundeservice

Let’s say first that having two concurrent business cooperating together this way is quite astonishing.

I get back to Telenor, as I think it’s their duty to make the most of work and indicate my client number. I come also with my yellow card and business card, so that the seller has no troubles understanding me, my address or other.

She (this time it’s a she, yeah) calls her technical support which tries for 15 minutes to find me in the mess (according to the very words of the seller). Finally, she got it, and works a few minutes on her computer to tell me my connection date got back to the 23th of July (therefor a month later) but that everything will be alright, and I will have no disconnection time. Or almost.

Ok… Pushed one month back. Ouch. But it’s summer, so internet is not that important. Good time for switching.

I receive the modem with Post Danmark three days later. Ok.

Monday the 20th of July

DanskNet sends me a mail telling me my connection will be modified and that they excuse themselves.

One could think it’s Telenor. Everything is OK.

Thursday the 23th of July - day 34 - 1st day offline

The 23th of July, I unplug DanskNet’s modem and plug in Telenor’s. Nothing. I switch back. The DanskNet’s one is well offline, but the Telenor’s one is not online either.

After two hours, I call Telenor client service and explain my case. The guy on the phone tells me he does not understand the problem (yet he understands me, and apparently feel fine I tried a few tests, like pinging the outside world in the form of the well-known evil Google DNS: 8.8.8.8). He says that he sees my modem requesting Telenor’s servers, but the connection order does not go through. He tells me the solution should be founded within a week.

After five days, I rebooted the router X times, nothing. No nothing. More nothing… I call back to have some information. The technician does not see anything.

Two days later, I return back in a physical shop (here is the good side of physical shops: one can go in and annoy people, whose job is therefor to solve his problem !) I tell my problem again.

The seller does not see any improvement, and gives me a 4G usb dongle for free for the time being.

Friday the 31st of July

DanskNet send me a mail asking me to send back their modem.

Which I did the day before. Ok. I don’t worry.

During this time I continue to ask Telenor to activate my line. During one of my visits in the shops, the seller will even order a new connection (so, new modem) which will also be pushed back all the way long.

Telenor - This way to the mad internet party.

Telenor - This way to the mad internet party.

Thursday the 13th of august - day 55 - I am exploding

At this point I am in so much anger I write this in the contact form of Telenor’s website:

Din henvendelse: Modtaget: Thu Aug 13 17:09:17 CEST 2015 Emne: Henvendelse fra telenor.dk
[Mobilnummer: XXXXYYYY] Tekst: Dit fulde navn: Stéphane Guedon E-mail: steftrap@22decembre.eu
Kan træffes på tlf.: XXXXYYYY
Mobilnummer: XXXXYYYY
Kategori: telenordk_private_mobil_overvejer-at-koebe_mail

Goddag.

Mig : cpr : 223383-9696, address : TangoZoulou Vej 19, 8000 Aarhus C.

I have ordered a broadband connection at my home in June. The first try failed, and then I had to ring up so many times, finally I ended up with a temporary connection with usb to wait for the definitive setup. And I just see that the definitive is again pushed back to september.

I would just want to know what the f***. I just want to have some good service there and some respect for the client. Please review my various complaints and give me a professional answer to the question : why my connection does not work yet ? Why is it always pushed back ? What is the real problem ?

(I am really sorry for the person that will have to go through this but anyway, I am the client here, and I have waited for more than normal. This is the way it is supposed to work : if I don’t have a good answer, I should go to the concurrence and they are supposed to do the job that you can’t !)

I decide same time to re-switch ISP if I don’t get a correct answer to my question “Why that does not work ?” before the 18th of august (Telenor promising answer to mails in the two or three working days).

Tuesday the 18th of august - day 60 - When you threaten someone, you ought to do it !

In the evening (I gave Telenor the whole Friday, Monday and Tuesday), as I have not received any answer, I applied the threat: Fullrate.
In the beginning, I thought they rent fixed ip. But apparently not. The ip is natively fixed. One bad point: no ipv6.

Let’s go.

Wednesday the 19th of august - day 61 - Telenor is answering

I finally receive Telenor’s answer to my mail from the 13th of august :

Hi.

I am sorry to hear about your problem. Have you tried calling us and talking to a supporter about your broadband connection? Jan, Telenor customer service.

Do you guys really understand how absurd this situation is ?

Yes, I have a shit load ton of troubles with you, but I did never dare mailing or calling you a thousand times.

Thursday the 20th of august - day 62 - Where Telenor is efficient !

I receive a mail and a text message from Fullrate stating that there is an order on my line. It’s Telenor. I call Telenor client service, which redirects me to cancellation service.

The cancellation service asks me a few questions, accepting calmly my explanation, as of they have not been able to connect me or to understand where is the trouble. Done in 10 minutes.

One can laugh about efficiency of the cancellation service while the only important service is really unable to do anything.

I send back a message to Fullrate. One hour later, I get the receipt stating that they are now wondering when the connection can be activated.

Monday th 31st of august - day 73 - The explanation !

I receive a mail from Fullrate telling me that there is an active connection on my line, and that therefor, they cannot activate their own.

Discussion: not Telenor. Only one possibility left: DanskNet. Yes it’s them !

Fullrate explains me that they can terminate my DanskNet line if I give her my client number. So do I and ask them to do it fast as I don’t have anymore connection.

DanskNet sends me a mail asking me to send back their modem and explaining when their connection will be terminated (and what will be the last bill).

Wednesday the 2nd of September - day 75 - The explanation continues

I answer to DanskNet, and tell them what I really think:

Fra: Stéphane Guedon - EN [mailto:steftrap@22decembre.eu] Sendt: 2. September 2015 12:08 Til: Kundeservice - DanskNet A/S Emne: Re: Bekræftelse af opsigelse - DanskNet A/S

Good morning.

I have already returned you your modem a month ago (send it by DanmarkPost the 3107).

And I do not see why I should pay for this month while I have not used the connection until the 23/07/2015, which was the time you should have closed it.

DanskNet asks when I requested termination:

Hi Stephane

Thansk for your mail.

I can’t see, that you should have asked us to cancel the internet before. When did you do this?

I can’t see that we should have asked you to return the router, before we sent the mail today.

You are welcome to attach the mail, were we ask that you return the router and attach the mail, were you should have resigned.

Med venlig hilsen DanskNet

Moses T. Marling Kundeservice

Here it is, Boom (take care of messages’ nesting):

Den 02/09/2015 kl. 14:09 skrev Kundeservice - DanskNet A/S: > Hi Stephane >
> Thansk for your mail. >
> I can’t see, that you should have asked us to cancel the internet > before. When did you do this?

I have asked you to end the subscription on the 19th of June. The 22th you send me back a mail giving me details about how to work it correctly between you and Telenor.

I am joining the mail here (containing my initial mail and your answer).

After that Telenor themselves were handling the problem. They said me they coordinated with you, as they gave me a date : 23th of July.

Indeed, the 23th of July, around 18h, your connection was off !

Between you acknoledging my wish to switch to Telenor (mail enclosed), terminating the connection (at least partly), and Telenor working on it, YES I can state that everyone knew I wanted to resign.

I can’t see that we should have asked you to return the router, before we sent the mail today.

You send me a mail the 7th of august. Actually I had already sent the router back to you at this precise time so I did not bother.

You are welcome to attach the mail, were we ask that you return the router and attach the mail, were you should have resigned.

So be it ! Two mails attached (thunderbird mail format, I have checked : you can read them with Firefox, and they have the dates).

Their answer:

Hej Stéphane.

Thank you for your mail.

We got an order on 31st of Aug regarding the new subscription, and with the 30 days notice it was cleared to the 30th of Sep.

Our confirmation states that the new provider is Fullrate?

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Med venlig hilsen DanskNet

… and mine:

I asked you to terminate the connection the 19th of June. As i sent you the mail.

And you knew it because you asked me the router back on the 7th of aug.

Re-boom:

Hi Stéphane.

We’ve never heard from Telenor regarding your subscription, and due to making the transition as smooth as possible they’d have to contact us with a date. The mail from you on the 19th of June is not considered as a terminated cancellation - however it’s seen as a kindly notice, that we’ll receive information from Telenor regarding your subscription. As described earlier we’ve never heard from Telenor - the provider we’ve heard from regarding this subscription is Fullrate.

I wish you a great day.

Med venlig hilsen DanskNet

Telenor never contacted DanskNet ? WTF ? What was this 15 minutes time break the 22nd of June in Telenor shop ?

It appears later that the connection has never been terminated, even though I could not use it anymore (As I tested the DanskNet modem, remember).

The 7th of September - day 80 - It has been absurd for way too long, so why not continuing ?

I receive Fullrate’s modem. As I plug it in, I see the modem can connect to the internet (!!!!). Same brand as DanskNet. There you understand the two companies might use the same materials and protocols/signals, so it’s the reason Fullrate’s modem works on DanskNet’s connection.

The 16th of September - day 89 - We have normality.

The connection actually switches over to Fullrate, on correct time they said.

89 days !